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World's a Mess

Every week or so, Alex Smith and James Kislingbury wade through the cesspool is that is the modern news cycle to find you chunks of solid gold-- Meaning mostly stories about crows and drunken brawls at fast food joints.
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World's a Mess
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Now displaying: 2017
Sep 22, 2017

EPISODE #61-- Back into the breach with an episode that barely involves any dead bodies at all. Today Alex and James rap about Burger King's crypto-currency, French wine thieves, and a dummy that tried to run from the police. They also get into it about kosher meats, travel, Silicon Valley, and the coolest character in Soul Caliber. Oh, and more bad French accents. Follow James on twitter @kislingtwits and Alex @giraffetermath. Donate at Patreon.com/quality.  Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art (http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com).  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at BBC, New York Times, and Inverse (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today! #WarOnWine #Crime #Wine #France #Thieves #Cryptocurrency #FastFood #Woody #Matthew #PopEyeMythCycle

Sep 16, 2017

EPISODE #60-- See? We're back! Today on the news we're dealing with nefarious whale-shark meat dealers, the ongoing French-Spanish wine wars, and ecstasy pills shaped like Donald Trump's big, dumb head. Alex and James also get into it about The Wire, French GI Joes, bad accents, and Alex's ongoing health woes. Follow James on twitter @kislingtwits and Alex @giraffetermath. Donate at Patreon.com/quality.  Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art (http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com).  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at BBC, New York Times, and Inverse (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today. #Rolling #WarOnDrugs #Trump #France #Spain #Wine #Sushi #BadAccents #DogSongs

Sep 13, 2017

EPISODE #57, #58, and #59-- Due to a major audio eff-up, we lost the original version of episodes #57-59. So, instead of dredging them up and trying to make them listenable, we just ran roughshod through the stories we did last time. It. . . Worked out okay? Whatever. Listen or don't. What do I care? Follow James on twitter @kislingtwits and Alex @giraffetermath. Donate at Patreon.com/quality.  Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art (http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com).  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources, see our Facebook and Patreon for a complete listing! Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today. 

Aug 29, 2017

EPISODE #56-- Sorry for the delay, but we're back with more news that has nothing to do with the real world, because man, it is a goshdarned mess out there. Today we tackle Bon Jovi or however you spell that avoiding Chris Christie, a bear murdering a bunch of dumb sheep, and a pilot who maybe watched Twelve O'Clock High too many times and learned the wrong lesson. Follow James on twitter @kislingtwits and Alex @giraffetermath. Donate at Patreon.com/quality.  Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art (http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com).  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at The Hill, Europa Press, The Guardian, and Atlanta Journal-Constitution (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today. #France #Spain #Bears #Planes #ShotToTheHeart #GardenState #TrashState #GarbageEaterState

Aug 23, 2017

EPISODE #55-- We're doing it. Irrelevantly, irreverently doing it. This episode is a bit longer, but we had a lot of fun making it. So sue us. We hit on: Cryptocurrency, Magic: The Gathering: The Stabbening, high octane full-leather coffee, and smuggling cobras. Don't do any of this. And other junk. Follow James on twitter @kislingtwits and Alex @giraffetermath. Donate at Patreon.com/quality.  Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at PC Gamer, Business Insider, CBS News, Associated Press, Fox 9, and Kotaku (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today. #RickSantorumIsBees

Aug 23, 2017

EPISODE #55-- We're doing it. Irrelevantly, irreverently doing it. This episode is a bit longer, but we had a lot of fun making it. So sue us. We hit on: Cryptocurrency, Magic: The Gathering: The Stabbening, high octane full-leather coffee, and smuggling cobras. Don't do any of this. And other junk. Follow James on twitter @kislingtwits and Alex @giraffetermath. Donate at Patreon.com/quality.  Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at PC Gamer, Business Insider, CBS News, Associated Press, Fox 9, and Kotaku (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today. #RickSantorumIsBees

Aug 17, 2017

EPISODE #54-- In another exciting episode of World's a Mess Alex and James get into it about a man burning his house down to fight bees, the return of the creepy clown, the dumbest jail break, and how squirrels are ruining this part of town. They also talk about Timecop. Follow James on twitter @kislingtwits and Alex @giraffetermath. Donate at Patreon.com/quality.  Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at CBS News, Pennsylvania Live, Associated Press, WCSH-TV, and New York Times (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today. #RickSantorumIsBees

Aug 13, 2017

EPISODE #53-- Today Alex and James rap philosophical about news that doesn't involve horrible Nazis marching in the heartland of America! Instead we talk about a plane shut down by a fart, an 86 year old that still runs the jewels, drug smuggling, and weird snake collectors. We also talk about bad towns in California, Sterlin Hayden, Poirot, and Killadelphia. Follow James on twitter @kislingtwits and Alex @giraffetermath. Donate at Patreon.com/quality.  Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at WNCN, Blavity, CNN, Vince, and LA Times (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today. #snakes

Aug 9, 2017

EPISODE #52-- Alex and James are back on their BS today with stories about a security robot self-blade runnering, another Vatican orgy, a gold dude with no pants, and the mystery of the bike assassin of Google's campus. We also rap about how dumb Silicon Valley bros are. Special appearance by Monkey, the News Dog, and the Young Pope. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at CBS News, Crimefeed, CNN, and Vice (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today!#Walmart #Google #SOE #Bikes #Bananas #YoungPope #Vatican #Hannibal #Robots #Cyborgs

Aug 3, 2017

EPISODE #51-- News isn't always fun, especially when it involves Earth's favorite would-be mermaid. Beyond that Alex and James report on a couple in Batman couple being shot by the police, "slime eels," more bad news about dumb drug dealers, and NASA V. THE MARTIANS. Are you man/woman/nonbinary/agender/other enough to handle it? Of course you are! We believe in you! Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at New York Post, CBS News, and Vice (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today!#Coke #Drugs #WarOnDrugs #WarOnSesameStreet #NASA #Kooks #Characters #Snooty #SeacowNews

Jul 31, 2017

EPISODE #50-- Don't expect anything special for our Silver Anniversary show, because we consider every episode to be special. Also, we forgot and didn't plan ahead. Anyways, today we get into it about an unfortunately named donor of, uh, genetic material, some escaped pigs, and a follow up on the Fyre Festival. We also get into it about Amber Alerts, dumb late-stage capitalism, and the pod dog. Also, CORRECTION: The lawyer I talk about at the end of the episode is not Alan Dershowitz. I am thinking about William Kunstler. Totally different people. Plus, Alex's Music Corner! Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at New York Post, CBS News, and Vice (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today! #Pigs #Swines #FyreFestival #NightGuard #WilliamKunstler #TheLaw #HJonBenjamin #News

Jul 28, 2017

EPISODE #49-- We're back again this week, bringing you the news that you crave. Today we talk about Hobby Lobby getting caught with its hand in the crypt, selling pancake mix instead of coke, grandma grounding a jet, and the return of Canuck the Crow! We also get into it about Pomona, the origin of drugs in America, the stupidity and the malice of the prison-industrial complex, and when is it okay to make fun of other cultures (probably never, but if you do, make sure that you're consistent about it). Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at BBC, DOJ, Munchies, Vice, and SCPM (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today! #Canada #China #BirdLaw #Crows #13thAmendment #Birbs #WarOnDrugs #IsAJoke #Pomona #WeDontKnowAnything

Jul 25, 2017

EPISODE #48-- Despite this powerful heat, Alex and James soldier on to bring you the news. On today's episode they deal with engine-eating varmints, raccoon involved shootings, roman candle fights gone wrong, and dudes smashing stuff for freedom.Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Westways, AAA, KOMO, King 5, and Arkansas Online (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today! #10Commandments #Freedom #Raccoon #MintJelup #Monkey #ClayHigginsIsAPig

Jul 18, 2017

EPISODE #47-- Besides ragging on Boston, James and Alex also get into it about a number of other Vital and Important news stories. Those stories include hate crimes against man-animal buskers, a stolen mummy toe, a bunch of creepy Nazi collectibles, and a coke den/daycare center. It's wild out there. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice, the Los Angeles Times, the New York Times, and the Vancouver Sun (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today!
#Argentina #Argentinia #Cops #Nazis #HitlersGold #MrHamster #Boston

Jul 16, 2017

EPISODE #46-- Today on the show Alex and James get into it about scammers making movies, North Koreans on their North Korean grind, more criminal avocado news, and the current status of witchcraft and dueling in the great state of Canada. We also get into it about messing your pants, California's worst small cities, and the aftermath of commemorating the Armenian Genocide. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice and the Los Angeles Times (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today! #NorthKorea #Malaysia #Avocados #Crime #Basquiat #DaddysHome2

Jul 10, 2017

EPISODE #45-- James and Alex start with a harrowing account of driving gone wrong, and then get into the real news: The News. On today's episode they rap about a Mormon cultist brought to justice, a man's flaming underoos, and an avocado. . . WITH A BULLET! They also talk about how creepy religious cloisters are (and listen to James fail to name exactly which one that he's talking about), what's the matter with cops today, and the works of Abe Vigoda. They also cut out a story about that Millwall guy, because apparently he's, surprise, surprise, a racist jerk. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice, WMUR, and Munchies (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today!

Jul 3, 2017

EPISODE #44-- Hey. Sup. How you doing? You doing great? Anyways, we back and we're excited. Today we have stories about how racism doesn't pay when you go to Harvard, goose droppings at the happiest place on earth TM, highway soda robbery, and a bear playing the piano. It's a light one. We also talk about more bad cops, the Manson Family, and how drugs are bad It's fun. Get it going. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Motherboard, Vice, LA Times, Fox News, and Fox 29. Please support real journalism. #McDonalds #Disneyland #BirdNews #Racism#CharlesManson #PandasSuck

Jun 23, 2017

EPISODE #43-- We get into it in a family-friendly way this week. Nothing an advertising algorithm can object to. Today Alex and James get into it about bros making an alligator chug, a bad idea for murder in Africa, a singing criminal, and unsolicited cocaine for pennies on the dollar. They also talk about why America sucks, why birds suck, and why bringing back movies from thirty years ago also sucks. Everything sucks. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Munchies, LA Times, BBC, WMUR, and Vice. Please support real journalism. #SouthCarolina #GoAggies #Tarheels #Whatever #Gators #Crocs #Drinking #DoinDrugs

Jun 20, 2017

EPISODE #42-- We're bouncing around a lot on this episode. We go from a peacock in Arcadia messing up some booze, an assassination attempt in Ukraine, what holes not to put wasp nests into, and a brave football hooligan standing up to international terrorism. We also get into it about bird law, more of California's Gold, and the LA Riots. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at the Pasadena Star News, New York Times, Le Monde, AV Club, and the Independent. Please support real journalism. #LAisBurning #Assassinations #Terrorism #Birds #Bees #TrueLove #Katana

Jun 14, 2017

EPISODE #41-- We're back! As always, we bring nothing but the hottest news items for you, our dearest newshounds. Today Alex and James tackle a Joker attack in Florida, stolen beehives in California, Swedish intercourse breaks, and a man trying to assassinate the best Power Ranger. We also have James explaining a video, Alex going over his phobias of My Buddy, as well as our pitch for a sexy Funky Winkerbean. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Associated Press, LA Times, Boing Boing, NY Post, Crime Feed, and Lauderdale Criminal Defense Dot Com. Please support real journalism. #Fresno #Bees #RickSantorum #WuTang #Florida #OtherJunk #Gunpla

Jun 8, 2017

EPISODE #40-- James and Alex return with an episode that is actually audible! It's exciting! Today on World's a Mess we discuss Russian Orthodox wizards blessing computers, Mormon statue heists, the case of Truck V. Bunny Ranch, and the "Big Penis Defense." Let's see if the filters pick that one up. We also chat about Huell Howser, local insect culture, what Trump acolyte matches what GI Joe villain, and what makes serial killers just so darn attractive? Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Associated Press, LA Times, Boing Boing, NY Post, Crime Feed, and Lauderdale Criminal Defense Dot Com. Please support real journalism. #Florida #Brothel #PBS #HuellHowser #CraneFlies #Nightstalker #BenMendo

Jun 4, 2017

EPISODE #39-- I'm not going to lie to you: This is the worst episode that we've ever recorded. Not because of content, but because of the technical side of this. We don't know what we're doing. Some good stories, though, such as: Sean Spicer getting left at home, a Florida man trying to neck a rattlesnake, a truck plowing into an unfortunately named company, Neil Armstrong's stolen moon bag, and the clowns-- They're back and they're out for blood. We talk about other stuff. Allegedly. I can barely hear most of this episode. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Thanks to Andy Kneis for our them "Sean Spicer Road." Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at AV Club, CNN, Associated Press, NY Daily News, Vice, and Denver ABC7. Please support real journalism. #FloridaMan #OnThatDust #AnalTech #VisionBoard #TheSecret #FLCL #VespaLife #AudioIssues

May 30, 2017

EPISODE #38-- Alex and James fail to get their schedule together once more, but like the less than entirely punctual phoenix, we have risen from the ashes! Today we rap about wild boars attacking ISIS, how British people can't handle avocados, a teacher making meth, and a controversial program in India to stop domestic abuse that will probably just make it worse. We also rap about U2, Dan Fogler, griefing teens in Red Dead Redemption, and weddings. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at AFP News Agency, BBC, Vice, The Times, Munchies, and USA Today. Please support real journalism. #WarOnTerror #HeroPigs #ISIL #Daesh #India #BreakingBad #FleetwoodMac #AudioIssues

May 24, 2017

EPISODE #37-- Neither rain, nor shine, nor audio issues will stop us from bringing the news. Or the mail. Whatever. Today Alex and James get into it about a junkie that called the cops on himself, stealing college exams, Trump's finger on the button, and Steve Seagal's exile from Ukraine. They also get into it about cops V. firefighters, memories of the Penny Arcade forums, Riverdale, and the works of Rilo Kiley. It's a good one. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at LA Times, NY Times, Vice, Tonic, and the Guardian. Please support real journalism. #heists #StevenSeagal #Ukraine #USSR #SocialEntropy #InfoWars #Heroin #RidingTheDragon

May 17, 2017

EPISODE #36-- After a brief and embarassing delay, James and Alex are back and better than ever! Today they discuss knife crime at IHOP's, a Denny's brawl, a cat hoarder in Cascadia, and Indian super-babies. They also go on about CRISPR genetic engineering, bashing up technology, airplane brawls, and what is the best bagel. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at BBC, Washington Post, Associated Press, Confessions of a Funeral Director, LA Times, Daily Herald, NY Daily News, and National Geographic. Please support real journalism.

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