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World's a Mess

Every week or so, Alex Smith and James Kislingbury wade through the cesspool is that is the modern news cycle to find you chunks of solid gold-- Meaning mostly stories about crows and drunken brawls at fast food joints.
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World's a Mess
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Now displaying: 2017
Jul 18, 2017

EPISODE #47-- Besides ragging on Boston, James and Alex also get into it about a number of other Vital and Important news stories. Those stories include hate crimes against man-animal buskers, a stolen mummy toe, a bunch of creepy Nazi collectibles, and a coke den/daycare center. It's wild out there. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice, the Los Angeles Times, the New York Times, and the Vancouver Sun (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today!
#Argentina #Argentinia #Cops #Nazis #HitlersGold #MrHamster #Boston

Jul 16, 2017

EPISODE #46-- Today on the show Alex and James get into it about scammers making movies, North Koreans on their North Korean grind, more criminal avocado news, and the current status of witchcraft and dueling in the great state of Canada. We also get into it about messing your pants, California's worst small cities, and the aftermath of commemorating the Armenian Genocide. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice and the Los Angeles Times (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today! #NorthKorea #Malaysia #Avocados #Crime #Basquiat #DaddysHome2

Jul 10, 2017

EPISODE #45-- James and Alex start with a harrowing account of driving gone wrong, and then get into the real news: The News. On today's episode they rap about a Mormon cultist brought to justice, a man's flaming underoos, and an avocado. . . WITH A BULLET! They also talk about how creepy religious cloisters are (and listen to James fail to name exactly which one that he's talking about), what's the matter with cops today, and the works of Abe Vigoda. They also cut out a story about that Millwall guy, because apparently he's, surprise, surprise, a racist jerk. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice, WMUR, and Munchies (and see our Facebook page for more sources!). Please support real journalism. Subscribe to something today!

Jul 3, 2017

EPISODE #44-- Hey. Sup. How you doing? You doing great? Anyways, we back and we're excited. Today we have stories about how racism doesn't pay when you go to Harvard, goose droppings at the happiest place on earth TM, highway soda robbery, and a bear playing the piano. It's a light one. We also talk about more bad cops, the Manson Family, and how drugs are bad It's fun. Get it going. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Motherboard, Vice, LA Times, Fox News, and Fox 29. Please support real journalism. #McDonalds #Disneyland #BirdNews #Racism#CharlesManson #PandasSuck

Jun 23, 2017

EPISODE #43-- We get into it in a family-friendly way this week. Nothing an advertising algorithm can object to. Today Alex and James get into it about bros making an alligator chug, a bad idea for murder in Africa, a singing criminal, and unsolicited cocaine for pennies on the dollar. They also talk about why America sucks, why birds suck, and why bringing back movies from thirty years ago also sucks. Everything sucks. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Munchies, LA Times, BBC, WMUR, and Vice. Please support real journalism. #SouthCarolina #GoAggies #Tarheels #Whatever #Gators #Crocs #Drinking #DoinDrugs

Jun 20, 2017

EPISODE #42-- We're bouncing around a lot on this episode. We go from a peacock in Arcadia messing up some booze, an assassination attempt in Ukraine, what holes not to put wasp nests into, and a brave football hooligan standing up to international terrorism. We also get into it about bird law, more of California's Gold, and the LA Riots. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at the Pasadena Star News, New York Times, Le Monde, AV Club, and the Independent. Please support real journalism. #LAisBurning #Assassinations #Terrorism #Birds #Bees #TrueLove #Katana

Jun 14, 2017

EPISODE #41-- We're back! As always, we bring nothing but the hottest news items for you, our dearest newshounds. Today Alex and James tackle a Joker attack in Florida, stolen beehives in California, Swedish intercourse breaks, and a man trying to assassinate the best Power Ranger. We also have James explaining a video, Alex going over his phobias of My Buddy, as well as our pitch for a sexy Funky Winkerbean. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Associated Press, LA Times, Boing Boing, NY Post, Crime Feed, and Lauderdale Criminal Defense Dot Com. Please support real journalism. #Fresno #Bees #RickSantorum #WuTang #Florida #OtherJunk #Gunpla

Jun 8, 2017

EPISODE #40-- James and Alex return with an episode that is actually audible! It's exciting! Today on World's a Mess we discuss Russian Orthodox wizards blessing computers, Mormon statue heists, the case of Truck V. Bunny Ranch, and the "Big Penis Defense." Let's see if the filters pick that one up. We also chat about Huell Howser, local insect culture, what Trump acolyte matches what GI Joe villain, and what makes serial killers just so darn attractive? Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art.  Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Associated Press, LA Times, Boing Boing, NY Post, Crime Feed, and Lauderdale Criminal Defense Dot Com. Please support real journalism. #Florida #Brothel #PBS #HuellHowser #CraneFlies #Nightstalker #BenMendo

Jun 4, 2017

EPISODE #39-- I'm not going to lie to you: This is the worst episode that we've ever recorded. Not because of content, but because of the technical side of this. We don't know what we're doing. Some good stories, though, such as: Sean Spicer getting left at home, a Florida man trying to neck a rattlesnake, a truck plowing into an unfortunately named company, Neil Armstrong's stolen moon bag, and the clowns-- They're back and they're out for blood. We talk about other stuff. Allegedly. I can barely hear most of this episode. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Thanks to Andy Kneis for our them "Sean Spicer Road." Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at AV Club, CNN, Associated Press, NY Daily News, Vice, and Denver ABC7. Please support real journalism. #FloridaMan #OnThatDust #AnalTech #VisionBoard #TheSecret #FLCL #VespaLife #AudioIssues

May 30, 2017

EPISODE #38-- Alex and James fail to get their schedule together once more, but like the less than entirely punctual phoenix, we have risen from the ashes! Today we rap about wild boars attacking ISIS, how British people can't handle avocados, a teacher making meth, and a controversial program in India to stop domestic abuse that will probably just make it worse. We also rap about U2, Dan Fogler, griefing teens in Red Dead Redemption, and weddings. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at AFP News Agency, BBC, Vice, The Times, Munchies, and USA Today. Please support real journalism. #WarOnTerror #HeroPigs #ISIL #Daesh #India #BreakingBad #FleetwoodMac #AudioIssues

May 24, 2017

EPISODE #37-- Neither rain, nor shine, nor audio issues will stop us from bringing the news. Or the mail. Whatever. Today Alex and James get into it about a junkie that called the cops on himself, stealing college exams, Trump's finger on the button, and Steve Seagal's exile from Ukraine. They also get into it about cops V. firefighters, memories of the Penny Arcade forums, Riverdale, and the works of Rilo Kiley. It's a good one. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at LA Times, NY Times, Vice, Tonic, and the Guardian. Please support real journalism. #heists #StevenSeagal #Ukraine #USSR #SocialEntropy #InfoWars #Heroin #RidingTheDragon

May 17, 2017

EPISODE #36-- After a brief and embarassing delay, James and Alex are back and better than ever! Today they discuss knife crime at IHOP's, a Denny's brawl, a cat hoarder in Cascadia, and Indian super-babies. They also go on about CRISPR genetic engineering, bashing up technology, airplane brawls, and what is the best bagel. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at BBC, Washington Post, Associated Press, Confessions of a Funeral Director, LA Times, Daily Herald, NY Daily News, and National Geographic. Please support real journalism.

May 10, 2017

EPISODE #35-- Thanks for sticking with us! Today Alex and James get back into it with what the know best-- Drunk Australian rappers skipping out on bills, snakes in South Africa, thieves making fried chicken, and rotting bats at Wal-Mart. They also rap about possums, the Golden State Killer, and Alex's New Segment: Grinding My Gears. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at BBC, The Sun, Vice Munchies, Washington Post. Please support real journalism.

May 2, 2017

EPISODE #34-- Alex and James brave the nasally depths of the spring allergy season to bring you hot scoops, fresh off the press. Today they get into it about Amish teens having too much of a good time, a bad cellphone thief, hacked tornado warning sirens in Dalls, and a UKIP MP selling poison. They also get into it about Barney Fife, supplements, and how maybe people should just maybe treat people on the Autism spectrum with some dignity. Also, an unexpected departure from News Tower 6. CORRECTION: David Suchet played Poirot. Who the heck is David York? Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Fox 43, LA Times, Washington Post, and Buzzfeed. Please support real journalism. 

Apr 25, 2017

EPISODE #33-- Cruz Flores joins the news boys at News Tower seven with some hot scoops about children driving to McDonald's, Laos-bound semen smugglers, Alex "Lizard Man" Jones' custody battle, and techno-prisoners Shawshanking together their own computer system. They also rap about Bernie Madoff, the insanity of Sebastian Gorka, and the wisdom of the Beastie Boys. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at WFMJ, Bangkok Post, Buzzfeed, Ars Technica, and Cafe. Please support real journalism. 

Apr 23, 2017

EPISODE #32-- Alex and James fail to predict when Easter comes out, as well as hunt down and trap the news ferret (tm). After that they get into the real nitty-gritty, namely Nazis attacking people with gifs, a solid gold heist in Berlin, the highest trucker ever, and using the bones of General MacArthur for sexual gratification. We also rap about how bad Tucker Carlson is, the benefits of sobriety, and the vagaries of shopping while disabled. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice, BBC, Komo News, and the Washington Post. Please support real journalism. #Heist #Drugs #Convoy #TuckerCarlsonStillSucks #BowTiedWonder #Berlin #Gifs #MemeWarfare

Apr 19, 2017

EPISODE #31-- Sorry for the delay there, folks, but no news is good news, right? WRONG! It's the worst kind of news! But, anyways, we're back and coming at you with stories about reverse racist robbers, drunk delinquint Deadpools at drive-ins, loose lizards, and wayward weed donors. We also talk about actors that confuse us, the squat next door, this terrible dude named Scarf, and the glorious return of Bryan Moylan. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice, BBC. New York Daily News, and Oregon Live. Please support real journalism. #Florida #Oregon #Drunks #Crime #Weed #BryanMoylan #Garfield #SnakeNews

Apr 11, 2017

EPISODE #30-- Today Alex and James are helped along with a brand new news ferret (tm). Past that, they get into it with mobsters stealing corpses, the Brazilian president's fear of ghouls, teaching under the influence, and how much it must suck to get eaten by a python. They also get into it about The Drew Carey Show, whether Dangerous Minds had a TV show or not, and we re-open the case of Mark Wahlberg Versus 9/11. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice, Times of India, NY Daily News, The Guardian, and Agence-France Presse. Please support real journalism. #Ferrets #Snakes #Spooks #Drinking #Italy #TUI #SouthCarolina #TooManyNames

Apr 2, 2017

EPISODE #29-- Hey, want to hear a guy eat a cake for five minutes? Well, we got the show for you. Besides that, Alex and James-- with guest star Cruz Flores-- talk about important news stories like cocaine pants, how Trump can't eat a steak properly, and why it doesn't pay to either be a Nazi or sell crystal meth. They also get into it about Wesley Willis and dumb gifts to buy for each other. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Thanks to Andy Kneis for the "Sean Spicer Road" theme song. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice, Munchies, Mirror, and the Independent Journal of Review. #WarOnDrugs #WarOnHitler #DontEatAndPodcast #Cocaine #RockNRoll #MacDonalds #Liberace #DragonTattoos #Vice #Munchies #TrumpSucks #WorstEpisodeEver

Mar 27, 2017

EPISODE #28-- Alex and James are joined by Quality Assurance Officer, Cruz Flores in today's episode. The crew of News Tower 7 then gets into it with the death of swimming pigs, the decadence of Floridian criminals, a heist in South Africa, and another story about the undignified personage of Sean Spicer, and a return of bird crime. It's a hot one. It's a spicy one. Better get the milk. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Thanks to Andy Kneis for the "Sean Spicer Road" theme song. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Cosmopolitan, LA Times, BBC, TC Palm, and the AV Club. #SeanSpicer #Florida #JoBerg #Chappie #Battletoads #Hawks

Mar 19, 2017

EPISODE #27-- Alex and James are back and they brought a new segment with them! Today our newsboys deal with further North Korean intrugue, stray hand grenades, Sizzler, and, more importantly, our new ongoing segment on Tom DeLonge. We also talk about Metallica, how dumb our politicians are, and the importance of Five Iron Frenzy stickers. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Thanks to Andy Kneis for the "DeLonge and Winding Road" theme song. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Atlas Obscura, New Scientist, Noisey, and the AV Club. #FIF #Blink182 #SETI #VXGas #NorthKorea #MASTEROFPUPPETSRULES

Mar 13, 2017

EPISODE #26-- Alex and James round off another cluster of episodes with some humdingers. This episode we get into it about drug catapults on the border, meatloaf escapades with your boy Chris Cristy, more stuff on narcs, more dumb Nazis, and a fancy boy alligator. We also ramble on about what it means to be a grandpa and how dumb the War on Drugs is (it's real dumb). Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at USA Today, Vice, the Boston Chronicle, AP, and NY Daily News. #Meatloaf #NewJersey #WarOnDrugs #WarOnNarcs #Ricin #DumbNazis #RIPAlexSmith

Mar 8, 2017

EPISODE #25-- We made it to the Silver (?) Episode Anniversary and boy does it feel good to be here! Today Alex and James get back into the news with a story about drone-killing eagles, mole-related arson, Myanmar monk meth madness, some BS from some racists, and why orgies are, ostensibly, against Church teaching. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at the Vice, Agence-France Presse, Mic, Al Jazeera, Fox 4KC, . Support real journalism. Support real art. #EccumenicalGetDowns #MoleHunt #WhatWouldSmileyDo #Burma #Myanmar #WarOnDrugs #Florida

Feb 28, 2017

EPISODE #24-- Due to the fast moving nature of the news, we've decided to dedicate an entire episode to the strange and terrible death of Kim Jong-Nam, the Billy Carter to Kim Jong-Un's Jimmy Carter. We also dedicated it to proving that we don't know JACK DIDDLY about the greater Korean area. But, again: We're learning. This is a weird one. It's a dark one. It's the North Korea one. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at the Guardian, BBC, Vice, Netflix, and CBS News. Support real journalism. Support real art. #NorthKorea #Assassination #KimJongIl #KimJongNam #KimJongUn #PresidentForLife #BondLife

Feb 24, 2017

EPISODE #23-- James and Alex cannot be stopped by broken computers, floods, hangovers, or even stairs! We're an unstoppable news team and we are bringing hot scoops of info to your gullet. OPEN UP. Today we discuss feces, falcons, fear (of stairs), and getting wicked high at church. We also delve into Sean Spicer, when it's okay to make fun of bad people, and that you should probably watch Riverdale (now on the CW). Thanks to our sources at Atlas Obscura, Munchies, Secret Flying, Jezebel, and the Toronto Star! Please support real journalism. Support real journalism. Thanks to X for our theme song "The World's a Mess." Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. You can follow him at http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com/. You can support us at Patreon.com/quality. #Stairgate #Stargate #Falcons #EndOfMan #Archie #Manure #FarmerFights #ThatDevilWeed

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