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World's a Mess

Every week or so, Alex Smith and James Kislingbury wade through the cesspool is that is the modern news cycle to find you chunks of solid gold-- Meaning mostly stories about crows and drunken brawls at fast food joints.
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World's a Mess
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May 10, 2017

EPISODE #35-- Thanks for sticking with us! Today Alex and James get back into it with what the know best-- Drunk Australian rappers skipping out on bills, snakes in South Africa, thieves making fried chicken, and rotting bats at Wal-Mart. They also rap about possums, the Golden State Killer, and Alex's New Segment: Grinding My Gears. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at BBC, The Sun, Vice Munchies, Washington Post. Please support real journalism.

Apr 19, 2017

EPISODE #31-- Sorry for the delay there, folks, but no news is good news, right? WRONG! It's the worst kind of news! But, anyways, we're back and coming at you with stories about reverse racist robbers, drunk delinquint Deadpools at drive-ins, loose lizards, and wayward weed donors. We also talk about actors that confuse us, the squat next door, this terrible dude named Scarf, and the glorious return of Bryan Moylan. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice, BBC. New York Daily News, and Oregon Live. Please support real journalism. #Florida #Oregon #Drunks #Crime #Weed #BryanMoylan #Garfield #SnakeNews

Apr 2, 2017

EPISODE #29-- Hey, want to hear a guy eat a cake for five minutes? Well, we got the show for you. Besides that, Alex and James-- with guest star Cruz Flores-- talk about important news stories like cocaine pants, how Trump can't eat a steak properly, and why it doesn't pay to either be a Nazi or sell crystal meth. They also get into it about Wesley Willis and dumb gifts to buy for each other. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Thanks to Andy Kneis for the "Sean Spicer Road" theme song. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice, Munchies, Mirror, and the Independent Journal of Review. #WarOnDrugs #WarOnHitler #DontEatAndPodcast #Cocaine #RockNRoll #MacDonalds #Liberace #DragonTattoos #Vice #Munchies #TrumpSucks #WorstEpisodeEver

Mar 27, 2017

EPISODE #28-- Alex and James are joined by Quality Assurance Officer, Cruz Flores in today's episode. The crew of News Tower 7 then gets into it with the death of swimming pigs, the decadence of Floridian criminals, a heist in South Africa, and another story about the undignified personage of Sean Spicer, and a return of bird crime. It's a hot one. It's a spicy one. Better get the milk. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Thanks to Andy Kneis for the "Sean Spicer Road" theme song. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Cosmopolitan, LA Times, BBC, TC Palm, and the AV Club. #SeanSpicer #Florida #JoBerg #Chappie #Battletoads #Hawks

Mar 19, 2017

EPISODE #27-- Alex and James are back and they brought a new segment with them! Today our newsboys deal with further North Korean intrugue, stray hand grenades, Sizzler, and, more importantly, our new ongoing segment on Tom DeLonge. We also talk about Metallica, how dumb our politicians are, and the importance of Five Iron Frenzy stickers. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Thanks to Andy Kneis for the "DeLonge and Winding Road" theme song. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Atlas Obscura, New Scientist, Noisey, and the AV Club. #FIF #Blink182 #SETI #VXGas #NorthKorea #MASTEROFPUPPETSRULES

Mar 13, 2017

EPISODE #26-- Alex and James round off another cluster of episodes with some humdingers. This episode we get into it about drug catapults on the border, meatloaf escapades with your boy Chris Cristy, more stuff on narcs, more dumb Nazis, and a fancy boy alligator. We also ramble on about what it means to be a grandpa and how dumb the War on Drugs is (it's real dumb). Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at USA Today, Vice, the Boston Chronicle, AP, and NY Daily News. #Meatloaf #NewJersey #WarOnDrugs #WarOnNarcs #Ricin #DumbNazis #RIPAlexSmith

Mar 8, 2017

EPISODE #25-- We made it to the Silver (?) Episode Anniversary and boy does it feel good to be here! Today Alex and James get back into the news with a story about drone-killing eagles, mole-related arson, Myanmar monk meth madness, some BS from some racists, and why orgies are, ostensibly, against Church teaching. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at the Vice, Agence-France Presse, Mic, Al Jazeera, Fox 4KC, . Support real journalism. Support real art. #EccumenicalGetDowns #MoleHunt #WhatWouldSmileyDo #Burma #Myanmar #WarOnDrugs #Florida

Feb 28, 2017

EPISODE #24-- Due to the fast moving nature of the news, we've decided to dedicate an entire episode to the strange and terrible death of Kim Jong-Nam, the Billy Carter to Kim Jong-Un's Jimmy Carter. We also dedicated it to proving that we don't know JACK DIDDLY about the greater Korean area. But, again: We're learning. This is a weird one. It's a dark one. It's the North Korea one. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at the Guardian, BBC, Vice, Netflix, and CBS News. Support real journalism. Support real art. #NorthKorea #Assassination #KimJongIl #KimJongNam #KimJongUn #PresidentForLife #BondLife

Feb 19, 2017

EPISODE #22-- We told you that we'd get over our technical errors! But here we are, back and ready to eff some ess up! We talk about the most important of stories: Cannibal hamsters, and then we get into it regarding bionic penises, falcons on a plane, the trouble with tabloids, and (further) reasons why you shouldn't act like a Nazi. Thanks to our sources at the Guardian, Agence-France Presse, Vice (and Bryan Moylan), the Daily Mail, and WUFT. Support real journalism. Thanks to X for our theme song "The World's a Mess." Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. You can follow him at http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com/. You can support us at Patreon.com/quality. #Hamsters #Cannibals #France #Robodong #ShiaLebouf #SluggingFascists #PunchingNazis #Florida

Feb 15, 2017

EPISODE #21-- Despite some ugly technical errors, we are back and and good as ever (which is to say that we are as bad as ever). On today's episode we get into it with Germany's insult laws, fast food and fast weed, a major nerd alert, and, most importantly, Los Feliz's deranged neighborhood Cookie Monster. This episode goes some places. Thanks to our sources at the LA Times, Vice, Inverse, Norwalk Reflector, and Mother Jones. Support real journalism. Thanks to X for our theme song "The World's a Mess." Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. You can follow him at http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com/. You can support us at Patreon.com/quality.
#TheOrangeOne #AlexJonesIsADingDong #BurgerKing #WarOnDrugs #Narcs #CookieMonster #AdamSandler

Jan 12, 2017

EPISODE #16-- Once again: We're back. James and Alex tackle the issues of the day starting with what happens when somebody gets high on meth and gets on an electric shopping cart in a Wal-Mart. We then talk about Andrew WK, Gundam, and more importantly the Vatican's new McDonald's, Australians rampaging on Christmas day, and the ongoing madness of Rodrigo Duterte. Thanks our sources at Fox WFTX, the Guaridan, and Al Jazeera. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. You can follow him at http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com/. Also check out our Patreon at patreon.com/quality. Finally, thanks to X for our theme "World's a Mess (It's in My Kiss)." #BadAccents #Australia #Garbage #Meth #GundamRock #PARTY

Jan 2, 2017

EPISODE #15-- Alex and James are back and instantly launch into DEATH THREAT WATCH 2016 (we have a really bad production schedule). After that, it's a white hot show about ramen for fogeys, reindeer driven pizza, Pennsylvania pizza potshots, improper use of mustard, and the ongoing war on beavers. We got it all. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our art. Thanks to our sources at the Guardian, Grape, WPVI Action News 6, the Washington Post, Time Magazine, and KFOR. Theme song is "World's a Mess" by X from "Under the Big Black Sun." #Pizzagate #NoNoOtherPizzaGate #Japan #Pennsylvania #Pizzasmoosh #Tardigrade #Beavers

Dec 21, 2016

EPISODE #14-- Alex and James are back. And they're rusty. And they have no idea where Georgia is. Today they deal with modern day cowboys, publicly broadcasted porno, a horrible Japanese skating rink, goatfire, and thunderstorm asthma. It's everything you want. And Australia. Thanks to Yahoo, Good Morning America, The Guardian, Sloshed Sloth, Atlas Obscura, The Local, The Atlantic, Vice, Grape, WPVI Action News 6, Washington Post, Time, and KFOR. Phew. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. Go buy "Under the Big Black Sun." #FuneralBoodaBag #IWasThinkingAndroids #RealRusty #Australia #JapanHot #Xmas

Dec 6, 2016

EPISODE #13-- Alex and James burn through the last of their pre-election episodes with this baby. And boy howdy do they get into it. We got gorillas drinking slurpies, we got New Jersey teens stealing cheese, we got scrotum frogs dying in their thousands, and we also have well respected astronauts rambling on about ET. We also ramble on about a lot of other crud. Join us, won't you? Thanks to our sources: BBC, PIX 11, Natural Geographic, The Guardian, and Vice Motherboard. Thanks to all of our sources. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X.

Nov 29, 2016

EPISODE #12-- We get into the REAL episode 12. And hoo birds it's a humdinger. Still blissfully unaware of the outcome of the 2016 election, James and Alex launch into an episode full of dudes on LSD saving dogs, clowns getting stabbed, pranksters getting pistol whipped, topless selfie mayhem, and dudes that just want to save woodland critters and bone down. It's an episode about America. Thanks to WNYT.com, Newschannel 13, The Guardian, the Associated Press, Hood Clips, and the BBC. Thanks to all of our sources. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. #SquirrelCrime #Clowns #ClownAttacks #DogsAndDrugs #LSD #Tussin

Nov 19, 2016

EPISODE 11-- We get into it. Alex and James, news-men-at-large, deal with their post-pre-election blues, namely how we're all, like, six months away from being The Road Warrior. Then they get into real news. There's a Cookie Monster stabbing, there's a sheriff gacked out on Xanax, there's a fountain of wine, and then there's a church that has a problem with fat people. Go figure. Thanks to Vice, the Gothamist, WVVA.com, Christian Post, and Paste Magazine. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. Go buy "Under the Big Black Sun," will you? #RedTails #CostumeCrime #BadCopWatch2016 #Doom #Andrew316

Oct 31, 2016

EPISODE #9-- Today at the news desk James and Alex wax on about America's current spat of clown crimes (and we're not talking about the election-- HI-YO!). We also get into more fast food mayhem, Walmart arson, and dumb, dumb drug stings. We also have a jag about abortion for some reason. Then we get into a documentary about feeders. Don't look it up. Thanks to all of our sources. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. #McDonalds #Walmart #PeeCups #ToBeaverOrNotToBeaver #ArtsNCrafts #AmericanClownEpidemic

Oct 17, 2016

EPISODE 8-- Today on the news, Alex and James launch into the seamy underbelly that is the entire overbelly of Hollywood. It's a real dirt city. It's also overrun with costumed criminals. Somebody send help. We also delve into the dark world of European toilets and French fry crime. Thanks to all of our sources. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. #Deadpool #SpiderMan #Hyphenates #ToiletPanic #ToiletTerror #FreedomFries

Sep 27, 2016

EPISODE 6-- This episode is a mess. It goes immediately south when James fails to properly vet a story and then, I don't know, guest star/provisional intern Sam Pritchard talks about turtles. Alex is somewhere in there, hiding in between room tones. Thanks to all of our sources. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. #TurtleSex #Smuggling #Prosthetics #ShockCollars #PurpleDrank

Sep 12, 2016

Word's a Mess Episode #5-- Today Alex and James are joined by long time communist partisan and provisional intern Sam Pritchard. The gang raps about the slow leeching of America's greatest national resources, as well as. . .Mostly bowel movements. Then we talk about more fast food fights, crocodiles, and dumb marijuana crime. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. #ButtLife #ButtBombs #Reaganite #Sasquatch #Florida

Sep 4, 2016

World's a Mess Episode #4-- We get right down to brass batarangs this episode. Alex and James dive into the wide world of white boy BS, from brains to batarangs. Then they examine the used panty underground, which turns out to be slightly less fun in practice than it is on paper.Follow James on Twitter @kislingtwits and Alex @girafftermath. Theme Song: "World's a Mess" by X. #BatCrime #BrainCrime #ThatUsedPantyLife

Sep 4, 2016
World's a Mess Episode #3-- James and Alex return with a two month old batch of news. As we figure out how hot the mics are and how to format the title of this show, we can safely say that we've figured out one thing: We have our own RSS feed and host, which means that this program will be on iTunes as a standalone show soon. Soonish. In the mean time, lay back and get ready for some white hot Florida News. #Florida #Sandbar #Blowjays
Sep 4, 2016
World's a Mess Episode 2-- Alex and James hit the news desk with a new crop of freshly cut news stories. We have bird news, we have firework-related injuries, we have breast feeding, we have bar farts. We have it all, folks. Also: Sorry about the levels. We're figuring this out. You'd think we would have it together after this long, but you would be wrong. Follow James on Twitter @kislingtwits and Alex @girafftermath. Theme Song: "World's a Mess" by X. Buy their albums.

Aug 31, 2016
World's a Mess Episode #1-- This is the pilot episode for a new show that host, James Kislingbury, and frequent guest, Alex Smith, are working on. The show is called "World's a Mess" and it's about the big stories the main stream media won't tell you about-- possibly because they involve animals getting it on. We won't ever know until you listen.
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