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World's a Mess

Every week or so, Alex Smith and James Kislingbury wade through the cesspool is that is the modern news cycle to find you chunks of solid gold-- Meaning mostly stories about crows and drunken brawls at fast food joints.
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World's a Mess
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Feb 19, 2017

EPISODE #22-- We told you that we'd get over our technical errors! But here we are, back and ready to eff some ess up! We talk about the most important of stories: Cannibal hamsters, and then we get into it regarding bionic penises, falcons on a plane, the trouble with tabloids, and (further) reasons why you shouldn't act like a Nazi. Thanks to our sources at the Guardian, Agence-France Presse, Vice (and Bryan Moylan), the Daily Mail, and WUFT. Support real journalism. Thanks to X for our theme song "The World's a Mess." Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. You can follow him at http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com/. You can support us at Patreon.com/quality. #Hamsters #Cannibals #France #Robodong #ShiaLebouf #SluggingFascists #PunchingNazis #Florida

Feb 15, 2017

EPISODE #21-- Despite some ugly technical errors, we are back and and good as ever (which is to say that we are as bad as ever). On today's episode we get into it with Germany's insult laws, fast food and fast weed, a major nerd alert, and, most importantly, Los Feliz's deranged neighborhood Cookie Monster. This episode goes some places. Thanks to our sources at the LA Times, Vice, Inverse, Norwalk Reflector, and Mother Jones. Support real journalism. Thanks to X for our theme song "The World's a Mess." Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. You can follow him at http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com/. You can support us at Patreon.com/quality.
#TheOrangeOne #AlexJonesIsADingDong #BurgerKing #WarOnDrugs #Narcs #CookieMonster #AdamSandler

Feb 7, 2017

EPISODE #20-- Alex and James burn through the rest of their backlog with some soaking wet news just waiting to catch mildew. We got stories about boy wonder, Sean Spencer, and his senseless war on the ice cream of the future. We've got bird murder, we've got snakes on a plane, we've got stray highway Skittles, and most important of all, we've got white hot BEE NEWS. Thanks to our sources at the Guardian, the BBC, the AV Club, USA Today,the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, and the Palm Spring Desert Sun. Support real journalism. Thanks to X for our theme song "The World's a Mess." You can support us at Patreon.com/quality. #Sully #HanksAintPlaying #ThisDumbPresidentOfOurs #RickSantorum #BeeNews #BeeStory #AuntBea

Jan 24, 2017

EPISODE #19-- Alex and James, still braving Long Beach's worst day of rain EVER, are back at it with the news. Because nobody can stop journalism. We delve into chickn nugget crime, Switzerland's strict citizenship standards, black market donuts, and how much monkeys love deer. It gets a little blue, folks. I also had a good Richard Marcinko joke here that I didn't use. Sorry. Thanks to our sources at The LA Times, The Local, Vice, The Guardian, and the BBC. Thanks to Sej Joosten for our show art. Support real journalism. Thanks to X for our theme song "The World's a Mess." Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. You can follow him at http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com/. You can support us at Patreon.com/quality. #NavySEALS #FastFood #Switzerland #ProbablyRacism #Deers #Monkeys #Screwing #BlackMarket #Donuts

Jan 23, 2017

EPISODE #18-- Alex and James dive deep into topics that are actually topical. Namely: When is it right to punch Nazis? Answer: Always. Also, while Mr Spicer and his cabal of dinguses wage war on the free press, we delve into the dark worlds of Norway's reindeer games (ie: slaughters), hermits 4 hire, the King of Britain's parking tickets, and the fact that our POTUS is accidentally quoting The Purge. What a time to be alive. Thanks to the Guardian, the LA Times, Atlas Obscura, The Local, and the AV Club for our stories. Support real journalism. Thanks to X for our theme song "The World's a Mess." You can support us at Patreon.com/quality. #Paganism #Druidism #HeWentToHarvardNotYale #Purge #Norway #Hermits

Jan 16, 2017

EPISODE #17-- Our episode starts out a bit ranty. Sorry about that. That's what you get for bringing Satan into the mix. And Florida. Besides that, the boys delve into a case of stolen gold, a horse that's high on meth, and a real "rum deal" between Cuba and the Czech Republic. Alex and James also get into LA traffic, the proper use of a goat, and the best/worst traffic jam stories that we know. It's a doozy. Hold your babies close. Thanks our sources at Palm Beach Sun Sentinel, Vice, BBC, Guardian, and La Times. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. You can follow him at http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com/. Also check out our Patreon at patreon.com/quality. Finally, thanks to X for our theme "World's a Mess (It's in My Kiss)." #Florida #HailSatan #MethHorse #Rum #FuckCastro #LoveCastro #YouBeTheJudgeOnCastro

Jan 12, 2017

EPISODE #16-- Once again: We're back. James and Alex tackle the issues of the day starting with what happens when somebody gets high on meth and gets on an electric shopping cart in a Wal-Mart. We then talk about Andrew WK, Gundam, and more importantly the Vatican's new McDonald's, Australians rampaging on Christmas day, and the ongoing madness of Rodrigo Duterte. Thanks our sources at Fox WFTX, the Guaridan, and Al Jazeera. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. You can follow him at http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com/. Also check out our Patreon at patreon.com/quality. Finally, thanks to X for our theme "World's a Mess (It's in My Kiss)." #BadAccents #Australia #Garbage #Meth #GundamRock #PARTY

Jan 2, 2017

EPISODE #15-- Alex and James are back and instantly launch into DEATH THREAT WATCH 2016 (we have a really bad production schedule). After that, it's a white hot show about ramen for fogeys, reindeer driven pizza, Pennsylvania pizza potshots, improper use of mustard, and the ongoing war on beavers. We got it all. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our art. Thanks to our sources at the Guardian, Grape, WPVI Action News 6, the Washington Post, Time Magazine, and KFOR. Theme song is "World's a Mess" by X from "Under the Big Black Sun." #Pizzagate #NoNoOtherPizzaGate #Japan #Pennsylvania #Pizzasmoosh #Tardigrade #Beavers

Dec 21, 2016

EPISODE #14-- Alex and James are back. And they're rusty. And they have no idea where Georgia is. Today they deal with modern day cowboys, publicly broadcasted porno, a horrible Japanese skating rink, goatfire, and thunderstorm asthma. It's everything you want. And Australia. Thanks to Yahoo, Good Morning America, The Guardian, Sloshed Sloth, Atlas Obscura, The Local, The Atlantic, Vice, Grape, WPVI Action News 6, Washington Post, Time, and KFOR. Phew. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. Go buy "Under the Big Black Sun." #FuneralBoodaBag #IWasThinkingAndroids #RealRusty #Australia #JapanHot #Xmas

Dec 6, 2016

EPISODE #13-- Alex and James burn through the last of their pre-election episodes with this baby. And boy howdy do they get into it. We got gorillas drinking slurpies, we got New Jersey teens stealing cheese, we got scrotum frogs dying in their thousands, and we also have well respected astronauts rambling on about ET. We also ramble on about a lot of other crud. Join us, won't you? Thanks to our sources: BBC, PIX 11, Natural Geographic, The Guardian, and Vice Motherboard. Thanks to all of our sources. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X.

Nov 29, 2016

EPISODE #12-- We get into the REAL episode 12. And hoo birds it's a humdinger. Still blissfully unaware of the outcome of the 2016 election, James and Alex launch into an episode full of dudes on LSD saving dogs, clowns getting stabbed, pranksters getting pistol whipped, topless selfie mayhem, and dudes that just want to save woodland critters and bone down. It's an episode about America. Thanks to WNYT.com, Newschannel 13, The Guardian, the Associated Press, Hood Clips, and the BBC. Thanks to all of our sources. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. #SquirrelCrime #Clowns #ClownAttacks #DogsAndDrugs #LSD #Tussin

Nov 19, 2016

EPISODE 11-- We get into it. Alex and James, news-men-at-large, deal with their post-pre-election blues, namely how we're all, like, six months away from being The Road Warrior. Then they get into real news. There's a Cookie Monster stabbing, there's a sheriff gacked out on Xanax, there's a fountain of wine, and then there's a church that has a problem with fat people. Go figure. Thanks to Vice, the Gothamist, WVVA.com, Christian Post, and Paste Magazine. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. Go buy "Under the Big Black Sun," will you? #RedTails #CostumeCrime #BadCopWatch2016 #Doom #Andrew316

Nov 11, 2016

EPISODE 10-- James and Alex take a deep dive into Canuck crime, more reasons to avoid Australia, and how modern society is fraught with demons. Oh and Trump is a scumbag. Thanks to all of our sources. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. #WhatYourBuhHuhs #HydroxsForever #TictacGate

Oct 31, 2016

EPISODE #9-- Today at the news desk James and Alex wax on about America's current spat of clown crimes (and we're not talking about the election-- HI-YO!). We also get into more fast food mayhem, Walmart arson, and dumb, dumb drug stings. We also have a jag about abortion for some reason. Then we get into a documentary about feeders. Don't look it up. Thanks to all of our sources. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. #McDonalds #Walmart #PeeCups #ToBeaverOrNotToBeaver #ArtsNCrafts #AmericanClownEpidemic

Oct 17, 2016

EPISODE 8-- Today on the news, Alex and James launch into the seamy underbelly that is the entire overbelly of Hollywood. It's a real dirt city. It's also overrun with costumed criminals. Somebody send help. We also delve into the dark world of European toilets and French fry crime. Thanks to all of our sources. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. #Deadpool #SpiderMan #Hyphenates #ToiletPanic #ToiletTerror #FreedomFries

Oct 2, 2016

EPISODE 7-- Today Alex and James tackle America's single greatest threat: Clown crime. They also discuss mass reindeer deaths, sneaking into Canada, and Don Knotts. Because what the hell else are we going to talk about? Thanks to all of our sources. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. #ComediaDellarte #ClownCrime #SouthernGothic #GaryGlitter

Sep 27, 2016

EPISODE 6-- This episode is a mess. It goes immediately south when James fails to properly vet a story and then, I don't know, guest star/provisional intern Sam Pritchard talks about turtles. Alex is somewhere in there, hiding in between room tones. Thanks to all of our sources. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. #TurtleSex #Smuggling #Prosthetics #ShockCollars #PurpleDrank

Sep 12, 2016

Word's a Mess Episode #5-- Today Alex and James are joined by long time communist partisan and provisional intern Sam Pritchard. The gang raps about the slow leeching of America's greatest national resources, as well as. . .Mostly bowel movements. Then we talk about more fast food fights, crocodiles, and dumb marijuana crime. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. #ButtLife #ButtBombs #Reaganite #Sasquatch #Florida

Sep 4, 2016

World's a Mess Episode #4-- We get right down to brass batarangs this episode. Alex and James dive into the wide world of white boy BS, from brains to batarangs. Then they examine the used panty underground, which turns out to be slightly less fun in practice than it is on paper.Follow James on Twitter @kislingtwits and Alex @girafftermath. Theme Song: "World's a Mess" by X. #BatCrime #BrainCrime #ThatUsedPantyLife

Sep 4, 2016
World's a Mess Episode #3-- James and Alex return with a two month old batch of news. As we figure out how hot the mics are and how to format the title of this show, we can safely say that we've figured out one thing: We have our own RSS feed and host, which means that this program will be on iTunes as a standalone show soon. Soonish. In the mean time, lay back and get ready for some white hot Florida News. #Florida #Sandbar #Blowjays
Sep 4, 2016
World's a Mess Episode 2-- Alex and James hit the news desk with a new crop of freshly cut news stories. We have bird news, we have firework-related injuries, we have breast feeding, we have bar farts. We have it all, folks. Also: Sorry about the levels. We're figuring this out. You'd think we would have it together after this long, but you would be wrong. Follow James on Twitter @kislingtwits and Alex @girafftermath. Theme Song: "World's a Mess" by X. Buy their albums.

Aug 31, 2016
World's a Mess Episode #1-- This is the pilot episode for a new show that host, James Kislingbury, and frequent guest, Alex Smith, are working on. The show is called "World's a Mess" and it's about the big stories the main stream media won't tell you about-- possibly because they involve animals getting it on. We won't ever know until you listen.
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