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World's a Mess

Every week or so, Alex Smith and James Kislingbury wade through the cesspool is that is the modern news cycle to find you chunks of solid gold-- Meaning mostly stories about crows and drunken brawls at fast food joints.
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World's a Mess
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Now displaying: Page 2
May 10, 2017

EPISODE #35-- Thanks for sticking with us! Today Alex and James get back into it with what the know best-- Drunk Australian rappers skipping out on bills, snakes in South Africa, thieves making fried chicken, and rotting bats at Wal-Mart. They also rap about possums, the Golden State Killer, and Alex's New Segment: Grinding My Gears. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at BBC, The Sun, Vice Munchies, Washington Post. Please support real journalism.

May 2, 2017

EPISODE #34-- Alex and James brave the nasally depths of the spring allergy season to bring you hot scoops, fresh off the press. Today they get into it about Amish teens having too much of a good time, a bad cellphone thief, hacked tornado warning sirens in Dalls, and a UKIP MP selling poison. They also get into it about Barney Fife, supplements, and how maybe people should just maybe treat people on the Autism spectrum with some dignity. Also, an unexpected departure from News Tower 6. CORRECTION: David Suchet played Poirot. Who the heck is David York? Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Fox 43, LA Times, Washington Post, and Buzzfeed. Please support real journalism. 

Apr 25, 2017

EPISODE #33-- Cruz Flores joins the news boys at News Tower seven with some hot scoops about children driving to McDonald's, Laos-bound semen smugglers, Alex "Lizard Man" Jones' custody battle, and techno-prisoners Shawshanking together their own computer system. They also rap about Bernie Madoff, the insanity of Sebastian Gorka, and the wisdom of the Beastie Boys. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at WFMJ, Bangkok Post, Buzzfeed, Ars Technica, and Cafe. Please support real journalism. 

Apr 23, 2017

EPISODE #32-- Alex and James fail to predict when Easter comes out, as well as hunt down and trap the news ferret (tm). After that they get into the real nitty-gritty, namely Nazis attacking people with gifs, a solid gold heist in Berlin, the highest trucker ever, and using the bones of General MacArthur for sexual gratification. We also rap about how bad Tucker Carlson is, the benefits of sobriety, and the vagaries of shopping while disabled. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice, BBC, Komo News, and the Washington Post. Please support real journalism. #Heist #Drugs #Convoy #TuckerCarlsonStillSucks #BowTiedWonder #Berlin #Gifs #MemeWarfare

Apr 19, 2017

EPISODE #31-- Sorry for the delay there, folks, but no news is good news, right? WRONG! It's the worst kind of news! But, anyways, we're back and coming at you with stories about reverse racist robbers, drunk delinquint Deadpools at drive-ins, loose lizards, and wayward weed donors. We also talk about actors that confuse us, the squat next door, this terrible dude named Scarf, and the glorious return of Bryan Moylan. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice, BBC. New York Daily News, and Oregon Live. Please support real journalism. #Florida #Oregon #Drunks #Crime #Weed #BryanMoylan #Garfield #SnakeNews

Apr 11, 2017

EPISODE #30-- Today Alex and James are helped along with a brand new news ferret (tm). Past that, they get into it with mobsters stealing corpses, the Brazilian president's fear of ghouls, teaching under the influence, and how much it must suck to get eaten by a python. They also get into it about The Drew Carey Show, whether Dangerous Minds had a TV show or not, and we re-open the case of Mark Wahlberg Versus 9/11. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice, Times of India, NY Daily News, The Guardian, and Agence-France Presse. Please support real journalism. #Ferrets #Snakes #Spooks #Drinking #Italy #TUI #SouthCarolina #TooManyNames

Apr 2, 2017

EPISODE #29-- Hey, want to hear a guy eat a cake for five minutes? Well, we got the show for you. Besides that, Alex and James-- with guest star Cruz Flores-- talk about important news stories like cocaine pants, how Trump can't eat a steak properly, and why it doesn't pay to either be a Nazi or sell crystal meth. They also get into it about Wesley Willis and dumb gifts to buy for each other. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Thanks to Andy Kneis for the "Sean Spicer Road" theme song. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Vice, Munchies, Mirror, and the Independent Journal of Review. #WarOnDrugs #WarOnHitler #DontEatAndPodcast #Cocaine #RockNRoll #MacDonalds #Liberace #DragonTattoos #Vice #Munchies #TrumpSucks #WorstEpisodeEver

Mar 27, 2017

EPISODE #28-- Alex and James are joined by Quality Assurance Officer, Cruz Flores in today's episode. The crew of News Tower 7 then gets into it with the death of swimming pigs, the decadence of Floridian criminals, a heist in South Africa, and another story about the undignified personage of Sean Spicer, and a return of bird crime. It's a hot one. It's a spicy one. Better get the milk. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Thanks to Andy Kneis for the "Sean Spicer Road" theme song. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Cosmopolitan, LA Times, BBC, TC Palm, and the AV Club. #SeanSpicer #Florida #JoBerg #Chappie #Battletoads #Hawks

Mar 19, 2017

EPISODE #27-- Alex and James are back and they brought a new segment with them! Today our newsboys deal with further North Korean intrugue, stray hand grenades, Sizzler, and, more importantly, our new ongoing segment on Tom DeLonge. We also talk about Metallica, how dumb our politicians are, and the importance of Five Iron Frenzy stickers. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Thanks to Andy Kneis for the "DeLonge and Winding Road" theme song. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at Atlas Obscura, New Scientist, Noisey, and the AV Club. #FIF #Blink182 #SETI #VXGas #NorthKorea #MASTEROFPUPPETSRULES

Mar 13, 2017

EPISODE #26-- Alex and James round off another cluster of episodes with some humdingers. This episode we get into it about drug catapults on the border, meatloaf escapades with your boy Chris Cristy, more stuff on narcs, more dumb Nazis, and a fancy boy alligator. We also ramble on about what it means to be a grandpa and how dumb the War on Drugs is (it's real dumb). Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at USA Today, Vice, the Boston Chronicle, AP, and NY Daily News. #Meatloaf #NewJersey #WarOnDrugs #WarOnNarcs #Ricin #DumbNazis #RIPAlexSmith

Mar 8, 2017

EPISODE #25-- We made it to the Silver (?) Episode Anniversary and boy does it feel good to be here! Today Alex and James get back into the news with a story about drone-killing eagles, mole-related arson, Myanmar monk meth madness, some BS from some racists, and why orgies are, ostensibly, against Church teaching. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at the Vice, Agence-France Presse, Mic, Al Jazeera, Fox 4KC, . Support real journalism. Support real art. #EccumenicalGetDowns #MoleHunt #WhatWouldSmileyDo #Burma #Myanmar #WarOnDrugs #Florida

Feb 28, 2017

EPISODE #24-- Due to the fast moving nature of the news, we've decided to dedicate an entire episode to the strange and terrible death of Kim Jong-Nam, the Billy Carter to Kim Jong-Un's Jimmy Carter. We also dedicated it to proving that we don't know JACK DIDDLY about the greater Korean area. But, again: We're learning. This is a weird one. It's a dark one. It's the North Korea one. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. Our theme music is "The World's a Mess (It's In My Kiss)" by X. Thanks to our sources at the Guardian, BBC, Vice, Netflix, and CBS News. Support real journalism. Support real art. #NorthKorea #Assassination #KimJongIl #KimJongNam #KimJongUn #PresidentForLife #BondLife

Feb 24, 2017

EPISODE #23-- James and Alex cannot be stopped by broken computers, floods, hangovers, or even stairs! We're an unstoppable news team and we are bringing hot scoops of info to your gullet. OPEN UP. Today we discuss feces, falcons, fear (of stairs), and getting wicked high at church. We also delve into Sean Spicer, when it's okay to make fun of bad people, and that you should probably watch Riverdale (now on the CW). Thanks to our sources at Atlas Obscura, Munchies, Secret Flying, Jezebel, and the Toronto Star! Please support real journalism. Support real journalism. Thanks to X for our theme song "The World's a Mess." Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. You can follow him at http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com/. You can support us at Patreon.com/quality. #Stairgate #Stargate #Falcons #EndOfMan #Archie #Manure #FarmerFights #ThatDevilWeed

Feb 19, 2017

EPISODE #22-- We told you that we'd get over our technical errors! But here we are, back and ready to eff some ess up! We talk about the most important of stories: Cannibal hamsters, and then we get into it regarding bionic penises, falcons on a plane, the trouble with tabloids, and (further) reasons why you shouldn't act like a Nazi. Thanks to our sources at the Guardian, Agence-France Presse, Vice (and Bryan Moylan), the Daily Mail, and WUFT. Support real journalism. Thanks to X for our theme song "The World's a Mess." Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. You can follow him at http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com/. You can support us at Patreon.com/quality. #Hamsters #Cannibals #France #Robodong #ShiaLebouf #SluggingFascists #PunchingNazis #Florida

Feb 15, 2017

EPISODE #21-- Despite some ugly technical errors, we are back and and good as ever (which is to say that we are as bad as ever). On today's episode we get into it with Germany's insult laws, fast food and fast weed, a major nerd alert, and, most importantly, Los Feliz's deranged neighborhood Cookie Monster. This episode goes some places. Thanks to our sources at the LA Times, Vice, Inverse, Norwalk Reflector, and Mother Jones. Support real journalism. Thanks to X for our theme song "The World's a Mess." Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. You can follow him at http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com/. You can support us at Patreon.com/quality.
#TheOrangeOne #AlexJonesIsADingDong #BurgerKing #WarOnDrugs #Narcs #CookieMonster #AdamSandler

Feb 7, 2017

EPISODE #20-- Alex and James burn through the rest of their backlog with some soaking wet news just waiting to catch mildew. We got stories about boy wonder, Sean Spencer, and his senseless war on the ice cream of the future. We've got bird murder, we've got snakes on a plane, we've got stray highway Skittles, and most important of all, we've got white hot BEE NEWS. Thanks to our sources at the Guardian, the BBC, the AV Club, USA Today,the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, and the Palm Spring Desert Sun. Support real journalism. Thanks to X for our theme song "The World's a Mess." You can support us at Patreon.com/quality. #Sully #HanksAintPlaying #ThisDumbPresidentOfOurs #RickSantorum #BeeNews #BeeStory #AuntBea

Jan 24, 2017

EPISODE #19-- Alex and James, still braving Long Beach's worst day of rain EVER, are back at it with the news. Because nobody can stop journalism. We delve into chickn nugget crime, Switzerland's strict citizenship standards, black market donuts, and how much monkeys love deer. It gets a little blue, folks. I also had a good Richard Marcinko joke here that I didn't use. Sorry. Thanks to our sources at The LA Times, The Local, Vice, The Guardian, and the BBC. Thanks to Sej Joosten for our show art. Support real journalism. Thanks to X for our theme song "The World's a Mess." Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. You can follow him at http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com/. You can support us at Patreon.com/quality. #NavySEALS #FastFood #Switzerland #ProbablyRacism #Deers #Monkeys #Screwing #BlackMarket #Donuts

Jan 23, 2017

EPISODE #18-- Alex and James dive deep into topics that are actually topical. Namely: When is it right to punch Nazis? Answer: Always. Also, while Mr Spicer and his cabal of dinguses wage war on the free press, we delve into the dark worlds of Norway's reindeer games (ie: slaughters), hermits 4 hire, the King of Britain's parking tickets, and the fact that our POTUS is accidentally quoting The Purge. What a time to be alive. Thanks to the Guardian, the LA Times, Atlas Obscura, The Local, and the AV Club for our stories. Support real journalism. Thanks to X for our theme song "The World's a Mess." You can support us at Patreon.com/quality. #Paganism #Druidism #HeWentToHarvardNotYale #Purge #Norway #Hermits

Jan 16, 2017

EPISODE #17-- Our episode starts out a bit ranty. Sorry about that. That's what you get for bringing Satan into the mix. And Florida. Besides that, the boys delve into a case of stolen gold, a horse that's high on meth, and a real "rum deal" between Cuba and the Czech Republic. Alex and James also get into LA traffic, the proper use of a goat, and the best/worst traffic jam stories that we know. It's a doozy. Hold your babies close. Thanks our sources at Palm Beach Sun Sentinel, Vice, BBC, Guardian, and La Times. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. You can follow him at http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com/. Also check out our Patreon at patreon.com/quality. Finally, thanks to X for our theme "World's a Mess (It's in My Kiss)." #Florida #HailSatan #MethHorse #Rum #FuckCastro #LoveCastro #YouBeTheJudgeOnCastro

Jan 12, 2017

EPISODE #16-- Once again: We're back. James and Alex tackle the issues of the day starting with what happens when somebody gets high on meth and gets on an electric shopping cart in a Wal-Mart. We then talk about Andrew WK, Gundam, and more importantly the Vatican's new McDonald's, Australians rampaging on Christmas day, and the ongoing madness of Rodrigo Duterte. Thanks our sources at Fox WFTX, the Guaridan, and Al Jazeera. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our show art. You can follow him at http://spexdoodles.tumblr.com/. Also check out our Patreon at patreon.com/quality. Finally, thanks to X for our theme "World's a Mess (It's in My Kiss)." #BadAccents #Australia #Garbage #Meth #GundamRock #PARTY

Jan 2, 2017

EPISODE #15-- Alex and James are back and instantly launch into DEATH THREAT WATCH 2016 (we have a really bad production schedule). After that, it's a white hot show about ramen for fogeys, reindeer driven pizza, Pennsylvania pizza potshots, improper use of mustard, and the ongoing war on beavers. We got it all. Thanks to Sef Joosten for our art. Thanks to our sources at the Guardian, Grape, WPVI Action News 6, the Washington Post, Time Magazine, and KFOR. Theme song is "World's a Mess" by X from "Under the Big Black Sun." #Pizzagate #NoNoOtherPizzaGate #Japan #Pennsylvania #Pizzasmoosh #Tardigrade #Beavers

Dec 21, 2016

EPISODE #14-- Alex and James are back. And they're rusty. And they have no idea where Georgia is. Today they deal with modern day cowboys, publicly broadcasted porno, a horrible Japanese skating rink, goatfire, and thunderstorm asthma. It's everything you want. And Australia. Thanks to Yahoo, Good Morning America, The Guardian, Sloshed Sloth, Atlas Obscura, The Local, The Atlantic, Vice, Grape, WPVI Action News 6, Washington Post, Time, and KFOR. Phew. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. Go buy "Under the Big Black Sun." #FuneralBoodaBag #IWasThinkingAndroids #RealRusty #Australia #JapanHot #Xmas

Dec 6, 2016

EPISODE #13-- Alex and James burn through the last of their pre-election episodes with this baby. And boy howdy do they get into it. We got gorillas drinking slurpies, we got New Jersey teens stealing cheese, we got scrotum frogs dying in their thousands, and we also have well respected astronauts rambling on about ET. We also ramble on about a lot of other crud. Join us, won't you? Thanks to our sources: BBC, PIX 11, Natural Geographic, The Guardian, and Vice Motherboard. Thanks to all of our sources. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X.

Nov 29, 2016

EPISODE #12-- We get into the REAL episode 12. And hoo birds it's a humdinger. Still blissfully unaware of the outcome of the 2016 election, James and Alex launch into an episode full of dudes on LSD saving dogs, clowns getting stabbed, pranksters getting pistol whipped, topless selfie mayhem, and dudes that just want to save woodland critters and bone down. It's an episode about America. Thanks to WNYT.com, Newschannel 13, The Guardian, the Associated Press, Hood Clips, and the BBC. Thanks to all of our sources. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. #SquirrelCrime #Clowns #ClownAttacks #DogsAndDrugs #LSD #Tussin

Nov 19, 2016

EPISODE 11-- We get into it. Alex and James, news-men-at-large, deal with their post-pre-election blues, namely how we're all, like, six months away from being The Road Warrior. Then they get into real news. There's a Cookie Monster stabbing, there's a sheriff gacked out on Xanax, there's a fountain of wine, and then there's a church that has a problem with fat people. Go figure. Thanks to Vice, the Gothamist, WVVA.com, Christian Post, and Paste Magazine. Theme is "World's a Mess" by X. Go buy "Under the Big Black Sun," will you? #RedTails #CostumeCrime #BadCopWatch2016 #Doom #Andrew316

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